Hi great people. This post about the surprising love secrets you ought to know was inspired by something that happened on Sunday afternoon. I went to visit an elderly lady (Deborah) who was unwell. Deborah is very dear to me because she was one of my late mom’s greatest friends.

Deborah who is 82 years old, had just been discharged from the hospital and recuperating at home. Her husband passed away about a month ago.

They had been married for 58 years. They are blessed with 4 children and numerous grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

When Deborah was told by her caregiver that I had arrived, she requested the caregiver to take me to the bedroom where she lay. We were thrilled to see each other.

To make a long story short, Deborah told me that her ailment was related to her husband’s death. She said that she felt like she had ‘died’ with her husband.

Two weeks after her husband’s death, she started experiencing chest pain, shortness of breath, and weakness. She had to be rushed to hospital. She had stayed in the hospital for 2 weeks.

I stayed with Deborah for almost 3 hours. She spoke about her late husband for all those hours. I gave her a listening ear and tried to empathize with her.

Deborah and her late husband were soul mates. They loved each other to the moon and back and most people admired the couple’s love.

Interestingly, Deborah could be suffering from one of the surprising love secrets I’ll be sharing with you shortly.

Surprising Love Secrets You Ought To Know

Let’s dive into the surprising love secrets you ought to know without further ado:

1. Love is Not Just a Feeling, It’s a Choice

When two people fall in love, they feel a deep emotional, and passionate connection. The emotional connection is characterized by deep affection. The passionate connection is characterized by a feeling of deep attraction and a crazy desire for sexual intimacy.

However, love should go beyond the emotional and passionate feelings you have for each other.

You must choose to care, support, commit, and love each other at all times. You must also deliberately nurture the relationship to weather the storms of life.

You see, passion and emotions could fluctuate depending on many factors. However, you must make a conscious choice to love your partner day after day regardless of what you’re going through.

2. Surprising Love Secrets: Love and Lust (Physical Desire) Coexist

This is a very interesting love secret. Suppose you want your romantic love for each other to last. In that case, you must maintain the emotional and the passionate connection of your relationship.

That’s why love and lust (physical desire) must coexist for a loving and fulfilling relationship.

You see, a deep emotional connection to your partner is important as it fuels your love for each other.

In addition, lust (physical desire) for your partner fuels the passion, and sexual excitement in your relationship.

So, if you no longer feel lust (physical desire) for your partner, it’s time to go back to the drawing board.

Lack of physical desire for your partner could lead to feelings of rejection and frustration. If you’re not careful, this could eventually strain or ruin your relationship.

3. Surprising Love Secrets: Romantic Love Is Not Always Permanent; It Can Fade

Another surprising love secret is that romantic love is not always permanent. You see, love can fade if you’re not careful.

As I mentioned earlier, love is not just a feeling, it’s a choice. In addition, love and lust (physical desire) must coexist in a romantic relationship.

So, love can fade gradually if a couple neglects their emotional connection and physical intimacy.

Here are some reasons why love can fade:

• External Factors: Things like children, work, extended family, etc, can strain a relationship. If you don’t handle external factors well, your love can gradually diminish.
• Unresolved Issues: When you don’t resolve issues, they pile up. This could lead to resentment and loss of affection for each other. Your love can gradually fade if this continues.
• Lack of effort: This means not making an effort to keep your relationship exciting. This includes not making an effort to have emotional and physical intimacy. The relationship thus starts to stagnate as it lacks the spark it once had.

When love fades, it could lead to separation, estrangement, divorce, etc.

So, if you don’t want your love to fade, nurture the emotional and physical intimacy you have with each other.

4. Surprising Love Secrets: You Can Fall In Love At Least 3 Times In Your Lifetime

This is an amazing and encouraging love secret, especially for those who are still looking for love. As I stated above, romantic love is not always permanent; it can fade.

You can fall in love with at least 3 people in your lifetime. Each experience can bring its own outstanding connection and depth.

Here are the 3 types of love you can fall into in your lifetime:

The 1st love

This is the first love you experience in your lifetime. It can happen to you as early as high school. This first love is so powerful that you feel like it will be your first and last.

Well, this love could be your first and last love. Your only love.

On the flip side, your first love could eventually fade and you start looking for love again.

The 2nd love

If your first love fades, you could decide to give love another chance – the 2ndlove. The 2nd love is usually ‘tough love/hard love’. Interestingly, this is the last stage of love most people ever experience.

This love starts well but at some point, you experience great pain at the hands of your spouse. You experience manipulation, betrayal, deceit, lies, etc. The relationship is thus full of drama and is a cycle of pain – the same issues repeating themselves, again and again.

You try to survive in this kind of relationship by trying to make things work. Sometimes you wonder why you’re still in the relationship.

Most people hold on to this kind of love up to the end of their lives but a few give up and quit.

The 3rd love

This love comes when you least expect it. You can experience this love when you’re still in the 2nd love or after quitting the 2nd love.

This love is known as ‘easy love’. It’s like ‘the calm after a storm’. This kind of love will surprise you as it’s simple and uncomplicated.

The 3rd love erases any bad ideas you once had about love. It teaches you how to give love and how to feel love.

So, at what point are you in your love life?

5. Love Secrets: Some People May Never Fall In Love

I’ve mentioned above that people can fall in love at least 3 times in their lifetime. However, some people may never fall in love. This love secret is mind-boggling.

According to experts, some people have an orientation known as Aromanticism. These people are referred to as aromantic.

If you’re aromantic, it means you may not experience romantic attraction towards anyone. You may also not have the desire to be in a romantic relationship with anyone.

In other words, you’re repulsed by the thought of romance. That means you may never fall in love.

However, all is not lost. If you’re aromantic, you can still experience other forms of attraction. For instance, you can experience sexual attraction.

As an aromatic, you can also form loving, meaningful, and deep connections with the community, family, and friends.

You can thus live a happy and fulfilling life even without romantic relationships.  

6. Surprising Love Secrets: Love Can Cause Broken Heart Syndrome

Another surprising love secret you ought to know is that love can cause broken heart syndrome. According to experts, this is a condition where people suffer from a real broken heart.

For instance, when you lose someone dear to you, the stress and emotional trauma you experience could cause actual damage to your heart.

You could suffer from broken heart syndrome in the following instances:

• When someone close to your heart dies.
• When a beloved pet dies.
• When you experience a terrible breakup.

Deborah (the lady I talked about earlier) could be suffering from broken heart syndrome due to the death of her beloved husband. Her husband had been part of her life for 58 years. Their love was a lifelong journey that deepened and grew richer for almost 6 decades.

The good news is that Deborah can recover from broken heart syndrome if she has good medical care and a good support system.

7. Cheating Is Not Always About Sex

When someone cheats in a relationship, people assume they did so because they wanted sex with someone else. Interestingly, people cheat for various reasons. Sex is just one of the reasons.

Is your partner cheating or have they cheated?

Here are non-sexual reasons for infidelity:

• To boost self-esteem: Some people cheat to boost their self-esteem. They want validation that they are still attractive or admirable. They can cheat by leading others on, flirting, or having sex.
• To revenge: Some people cheat as a way of retaliation. They want to revenge on the partner who has wronged them.
• Experiencing the 3rd phase of love: If a person falls in love for the 3rd time while still in another relationship, they could cheat. Blame the infidelity on newfound love.
• Boredom: If a couple doesn’t nurture their love they can become bored with each other. Such people may cheat to escape boredom.
• Adventure: Cheating can be thrilling and risky. It’s an adventure. Some people cheat to experience this adventure.

Conclusion

Love is indescribable and it’s a beautiful thing. I hope these surprising love secrets will come in handy in your love life.

Which love secret surprised you most? Kindly share your thoughts in the comments section below. Cheers!

Also read: How to find love at any stage of your life: never give up on finding love.