I’m a mom of 3 imperfect kids – they have flaws like any other human being. When I started my parenting journey, I used to strive to be a perfect/super mom. However, over the years I’ve learned that there’s nothing like a perfect mom because human beings can’t attain perfection. So, I gradually became content with being a good enough mom.
A good enough mom loves and cares for her children deeply but doesn’t try to create a perfect life for them. A good enough mom helps her kids to grow up in a real environment because when the kids step out of the home, they’ll find an imperfect world.
As a good enough mom, you get it right most of the time and wrong sometimes. It’s okay to get it wrong sometimes because during those times your children realize that life is sometimes hard. They may feel terrible but they become stronger and eventually bounce back.
So, a child needs a good enough mother, not a perfect one.
Many mothers out there are good enough moms but they don’t know it.
Below are 10 signs you’re a good mother enough mom even if you don’t know it:
1. You Try to Provide All Meals for Your Children
One sign that you’re a good enough mom is if you try to provide all meals for your children. As a mom, you know children need to eat enough food daily for proper growth. By all meals, I mean breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Serving your children with three meals in a day is no mean feat.
It’s okay if you’re unable to prepare meals from scratch at every mealtime. You can warm leftover food in the microwave or oven to feed your kids once in a while. So long as you are trying to provide all meals, you’re a good enough mom.
Try to make the meals nutritious as kids need a nutritious diet for healthy growth. It’s alright to serve your children vegetables at mealtime even when you know they’ll only eat a few mouthfuls. At least you tried and that’s what being a good enough mom is about.
2. You Are Not Obsessed with the Notion of a Tidy House
Ordinary, active, and happy kids don’t thrive in a tidy house. You see, children play all sorts of games in the house and so it’s normal for it to get messy. I’m not saying that your house should always look like a disaster but it’s okay if it’s ‘lived-in’ messy.
So, when you allow your children to mess up the house – cushions on the floor, toys all over the place, remotes in the wrong places, etc, it’s a sign you’re a good enough mom. Your house is messy because your kids are having fun and are happy.
After the kids finish playing in the house, get them to clean up after themselves. This teaches them to be responsible.
3. You Are Not Obsessed With the Notion of Perfect Kids
As I mentioned earlier, there are no perfect moms neither are there perfect kids. One of the signs that you’re a good enough mom is not being obsessed with having perfect kids. Sometimes on social media, you see kids who are perfectly behaved but that’s not true. All human beings including kids have imperfections.
So, you are a good enough mom when you sometimes allow your kids to be imperfect. For instance, it’s okay if the following happens to your kids:
- They cry a bit.
- They argue a bit with each other or with you.
- They spit up food.
- They throw up.
- Don’t have the best grades.
- Are covered in mud, food, or paint.
- Make messes.
- They hide their favorite snacks.
4. Sometimes You Question Your Mothering Skills
Do you ever wonder about your mothering skills – whether they are good or bad? If you wonder about your mothering skills every now and then, it means you care about being a good enough mom. Caring about being a good enough mom means that you already are one.
The reason you wonder about your mothering skills is that you are constantly striving to be a good enough mom. You recognize your shortcomings as a mom and are always striving to do better.
For instance, sometimes you may wonder whether you’re allowing your kids to watch too much TV or use their phones for too long. It’s perfectly normal for such thoughts to go through the mind of a good enough mom.
You can reduce the time they spend on TV or their phones by ensuring that they do their chores or their homework before they can watch TV or use their phones. You could also agree on how long they’ll watch TV or use their phones in a day. Doing so helps them to be responsible.
5. You Yell At Your Kids But Feel Bad About It Later
At times your imperfect kids can drive you up the wall and you end up yelling at them. I occasionally yell at my teenage daughter. Some of these instances include when she argues about everything or doesn’t answer when I call her because she can’t hear (she’s wearing earphones).
If you yell at your kids but feel bad about it later, it’s a sign that you’re a good enough mom. You see, as a good enough mom, sometimes you have to do things you don’t like doing – like yelling or scolding your kids. Although you feel bad about it later, you did it for the right reasons. Interestingly, your child picks a lesson or two from your actions.
Having said that, it’s important to note that yelling at your kids can make them anxious and scared. In addition, they may become prone to yelling in the future.
6. You Punish Your Kids But Feel Guilty About It Later
By the time you yell at your kid, it means they have really annoyed or irritated you. Some of the things that make you yell at your kids include disobedience, rudeness, laziness, etc. As a mom, sometimes you have no choice but to punish your kids for the wrongs they do.
When my daughter was younger, I’d sometimes send her to her room as a way of disciplining her. The poor girl loved playing in the garden and she’d thus feel horrible staying in her room for one or two hours. She’d stare outside miserably through the window, and that would tear my heart to pieces.
If you sometimes feel guilty for punishing your kids, it’s a sign you’re a good enough mom. You see, you want to instill discipline in your children by punishing them. However, you feel guilty as you watch them suffer during the punishment you’ve given them. You’re indeed a good enough mother.
7. Sometimes You Detest the Gross Work You Do For Your Kids but You Still Do It
As I mentioned earlier, being a mom is no mean feat. For instance, sometimes you have to do gross things for your kids such as:
- Catching their poo in your hands.
- Smelling their diapers.
- Picking their noses.
- Cleaning their puke.
- Holding back their hair as they vomit.
- Cleaning crusted, molding food in a spot.
It’s okay to feel yucky when doing some things for your kids. It’s a great sign that you’re a good enough mom. You feel yuck (sometimes you might throw up too) but you still do it.
So, don’t feel bad or beat yourself up for detesting some of the gross work you do for your kids. You’re just being human and a good enough mom.
8. You Create Time to Take Care of Yourself but Sometimes Feel Guilty About It
If you at times create time to take care of yourself, then you’re a good enough mom. You are the kind of mom who realizes that you can’t take care of others well if you don’t take care of yourself. Some of the things you could create time for include the following:
- Laying down to get some peace and quiet.
- Meet up with your friends to catch up and have some fun (you can leave the kids with a babysitter briefly).
- Watch a movie or soap when the kids are asleep or out playing.
- Have your nails or hair done.
- Go shopping without the kids.
- Take a walk.
- Exercise.
- Soak in the bath.
Oh, and it’s okay to feel like you’re being selfish for creating time for yourself. It’s a great sign that you’re a good enough mom.
9. Your Kids Run to You for Comfort Even In Ridiculous Situations
If your kids run to you for comfort even in ridiculous situations, it’s a sign you’re a good enough mom. At times you might not feel like comforting your child especially if the cause of their misery is their own doing. Yet, you still comfort them because that’s what a good enough mom does.
For instance, if your child climbs on top of the cupboard and falls badly, they’ll run to you for comfort. You may feel annoyed especially if you’d told them a million times not to climb on top of the cupboard. Yet, you still comfort your child and give them the necessary help even in such a ridiculous situation.
Your child runs to you whenever they need comfort – even in a ridiculous situation because you’re a good enough mother. They know you’ll still comfort them even if they’re to blame for the problem.
10. You Have Bad Days But Still Manage to Tell Your Kids You Love Them
As a mom, sometimes you have bad days – you are human when all is said and done. At times, your kids are the root cause of your bad days. You get frustrated, annoyed, stressed, etc. and at that point, you may even feel like you don’t like your kids.
The amazing thing about a good enough mom is that she still manages to tell her kids she loves them even on her worst days. You tell your children you love them not because you’re compelled to but because you really do.
Reassuring your child of your love daily regardless of the circumstances is a sign that you’re a good enough mom.
Conclusion
Your child doesn’t need a perfect mom – such moms don’t exist. The child needs a good enough mom.
So, are you a good enough mom? If you can identify with most of the traits I have explained above, then you’re a good enough mom.
What’s your take on being a good enough mom? Kindly share your thoughts in the comments section below.
Also share this post to encourage moms out there. Cheers!
