Hi, great people. Last week, I attended a seminar for women aged 40 and above. The seminar was about: “Thriving in Midlife and Beyond”. The 52 wonderful women I met at the seminar ranged in age from 40 to 88.

The seminar was empowering and fun. The most interesting part was when the facilitator asked the women to share one thing they regret most as they age.

The facilitator encouraged us to feel free to share our regrets in a candid and most vulnerable way. The women did not disappoint; they were up to the task.

The regrets the women shared about were flabbergasting, to say the least. I also shared my regret – it’s the first in this post.

As I listened to the women sharing what they regret most as they grow older, I decided to write this post.

This post aims to encourage women to live their lives carefully to avoid regrets as they grow older.

Enjoy the post and also learn a thing or two from it.

The Things Women Regret Most As They Grow Older

Let me share with you some of the things the women at the seminar said they regret most as they grow older without further ado.

Women Regret Refusing To Advance Their Education

At the seminar, I shared that one of my greatest regrets as I grew old was not advancing my education. Several other women cited this as their greatest regret.

Not advancing my education is one of my greatest regrets as I grow older. You see, I was a brilliant girl (an A student). Unfortunately, I didn’t like books – I don’t know if that makes sense.

So, once I got my first degree, I was done with education. I started my teaching career, got married, got kids, did side hustles …..

I intentionally refused to advance my education. I’m using the word refused because I had the time and resources to advance my education, but didn’t bother. I didn’t want the hassle of going back to school, reading, assignments, CATS, exams, etc.

As I look back, I feel like I short-changed myself by not advancing my education to the highest level possible. If I had done so, I would probably have several degrees, a Doctorate, and a PhD by now. I would be Prof. Enna (smiling).

My regret and the regrets of many people who refused to advance their education is that I wasted my brilliant, God-given brain. I refused to achieve my full academic, intellectual, and professional potential.

If I could turn back the time, I would advance my education to achieve my full potential. That way, I would not have to feel like I wasted my time on earth in terms of education.

The good news is that we’re never too old to have new dreams or set another goal. This reminds me of the 102-year-old woman who said she had a 10-year plan. If you and I want to pursue education at whatever age, we can do it.

Some Women Regret Having Abortions When They Were Younger

One woman at the seminar wept uncontrollably as she remembered the abortions she had when she was younger. Although she got other kids later, she regretted having aborted.

She regrets that she had killed her unborn kids. She felt like a horrible person and an evil person. She said she could never forgive herself for that.

Secondly, she always wonders what the kids would have looked like, what kind of people they’d have become, etc.

My heart went out to that lady and any woman with such regrets. I hope they find it in their hearts to forgive themselves.

Some Women Regret Abandoning Their Children

One of the women at the seminar said she regrets abandoning her child. She became pregnant when she joined the university. She was scared to death because she didn’t want to disappoint her parents, or the community, or quit school.

She managed to conceal the pregnancy from everybody. She gave birth in a hospital and abandoned the child there.

She completed her degree and is doing well in her career. She is also financially stable. However, she has no other children.

She regrets abandoning her child. She spends sleepless nights wondering what happened to the child. She also feels evil for abandoning the child.

In addition, she regrets that she has no one to share her success with.

Other Women Regret Choosing Not To Have Children

Another woman at the seminar shared that her greatest regret as she grows older is refusing to have children. She said she chose her career, travel, and a good life over having children.

Although her husband wanted children, she refused to have children. The husband left eventually and she was free to travel and enjoy life on her own.

She is 70 years old now. She said she envies the love and emotional bond her friends share with their children.

She also said she feels lonely and miserable, especially during her birthday and holidays as she has no children to share such moments with.

Most importantly, she regrets refusing to have children because she has no one to continue her family line. She feels like she has no legacy to leave in this world.

Some Women Regret Choosing Not To Get Married

One woman narrated how she regrets her refusal to get married when she was younger. She said she had several suitors and three marriage proposals. However, she valued her independence and therefore didn’t want commitment. So, she turned down all the marriage proposals.

She’s now 68 and her biggest regret is her refusal to get married. She now feels lonely and wishes she had a husband with whom she could share her life.

She also fears growing old alone and dying alone.

She regrets the missed opportunity to become a wife, partner, or even a mother.

Some Women Regret Wasting Their Lives In Loveless Relationships

One of the women at the seminar opened up about how she’d wasted 35 years in a loveless marriage. She said she discovered that she had irreconcilable differences with her husband a few days after their wedding.

The differences became worse as the years went by. They almost hated each other and were always at loggerheads. They lived in the same house but stopped communicating. They also had zero intimacy for almost 30 years. In other words, they lived together but were estranged.

She said that although her marriage was loveless, she could not leave because she didn’t want her kids to have divorced parents. She also cared deeply about what people would say if she left the marriage.

She finally gathered the courage to leave the marriage after 35 years – on her 60th birthday.

She’s now been divorced for 2 years and is enjoying some peace and happiness.

She feels like she wasted the best years of her life in the loveless marriage. She regrets that she didn’t leave the marriage earlier.

Some Women Regret Neglecting Their Health When They Were Younger

Another woman at the seminar shared that her greatest regret as she grows older is having neglected her health when she was younger.

She said that she lived carelessly when she was younger. She would eat and drink everything she could without a care in the world. She made us laugh when she said that at that time she “lived to eat and party”.

By the time she was 40, she was overweight. She developed lifestyle diseases – diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol.

Her life became miserable because she was very sick. She was also put on a strict, bland diet.

In addition, she became broke because she had to spend all her money and savings on medication.

She regrets that she didn’t care of her health when she was younger. If she had done so, she would not be as miserable, sickly, and broke as she is right now. Her quality of life would be better.

Some Women Regret Being Home Wreckers 

One woman confessed that she was a home wrecker in her hay days. She said that she had an obsession with married men. Whenever she’d see a happy family, she’d do her best to wreck it by doing all she could to get the man.

After getting the man, she’d ensure the guy’s wife got to know about the affair.

She sobbed uncontrollably as she remembered the many homes she wrecked.

She later got married at the age of 32. Unfortunately, karma followed her. After 9 months, she discovered her husband was cheating. She left him almost immediately.

To make a long story short, she’s been married thrice and she has left all the marriages because her partners have been unfaithful to her.

Her greatest regret is being a home wrecker when she was younger. She believes that’s why her marriages were also wrecked. She said she has given up on marriage.

Some Women Regret Not Mending Their Broken Relationships With Their Loved Ones

One woman said her biggest regret as she grows older is not mending her relationship with her family before it was too late. She narrated how she fell out with her parents and three siblings 21 years ago.

After the fallout, she moved to a different city and severed all ties with her family.

Her family tried to reach out to her on several occasions in vain. For instance, they invited her for Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc but she didn’t respond. They also tried to keep her updated on what was happening in the family but she ignored them completely.

The family members finally decided to disconnect with her too.

One day, she came across her mother’s photo in the obituaries. She had no idea that her mother had been unwell for 8 years let alone that she had died. Nobody told her!

She wanted to reach out to her family so badly at that time and even attend her mother’s funeral, but she couldn’t. Where could she start?

She didn’t attend her mother’s funeral.

To make matters worse, her mother died before they could mend their broken relationship. That’s something she regrets to date.

She later gathered some courage and humility and went home to check on the rest of her family.

When she got home, there were mixed reactions from her family members. Some were shocked but glad to see her. Others were bitter with her while others decided to ignore her.

What was most shocking to her was that her father had died five years before her mother. She didn’t know about it.

She also found out that her three siblings were married and had children whom she’d never met.

To make a long story short, many good and bad things happened to the family during the 21 years they were estranged.

She’s started her reconciliation journey with some members of her family. She regrets that she didn’t get an opportunity to mend her relationship with her parents before they died.

She also regrets the missed milestones in her family and the missed connections. She also regrets the pain and remorse she caused her family.

She hopes her family members will somehow find it in their hearts to forgive her and gradually accept her back into the family fold.

Some Women Regret Not listening To Their Parent’s Advice When They Were Younger

One woman said that in her teens, her mother always advised her not to befriend people of questionable character. She didn’t want advice from anyone, especially her mother. She thus ignored her mother’s advice and started associating with rebellious teenagers.

Her friends introduced her to destructive behaviors such as drinking, cigarette smoking, drugs, teenage sex, etc.

Terrible things happened to her as a result of not listening to her mother’s. For instance, she was expelled from high school. She gave birth at 16. She even served time in jail at some point. Goodness!

Although she finally picked herself up, she regrets not listening to her mother’s advice. She feels that if she had listened to her mother, her life would have been better and happier.

Some Women Regret Wasting Money In Their Younger Days And Not Investing Or Saving For A Rainy Day

A 68-year-old woman told us that her biggest regret was that she and her husband wasted money in their younger days. She said they had well-paying jobs and side hustles that brought in some good income.

She regrets that they ate life with a big spoon when they had the money. For instance, they traveled to different countries for vacations and went on several luxury cruises that lasted for months.

They also shopped recklessly and rented palatial houses instead of buying or building their own home.

During the coronavirus pandemic, they lost their prime jobs at their blue-chip companies.

They discovered late in the day that they had wasted their money on reckless living. They had also not invested their money in projects that could bring income.

Within a year of being jobless, they had exhausted all their savings.

She said that at some point they were almost homeless. They had to go and live with their parents.

She regrets wasting money in her prime years and not investing or saving for a rainy day.

Some Women Regret Sacrificing Their Own Happiness For The Sake Of Others

One woman shared that she was the firstborn in a family of 6 siblings. By the time she completed university and got a job, her siblings were in high school.

She saw how her parents were struggling financially to take care of the other children. She decided to work in her hometown, live at home, and use her salary to help her parents and siblings.

She became like a second mother to her siblings. Everyone depended on her for money, care, advice, etc. She gave them her all. She sacrificed her own happiness for the sake of her family.

She thus didn’t get married or have children. She also didn’t save or invest because she used all her salary to support her family.

She is now 52 years old and her siblings are all grownup. They are well educated and have nice jobs thanks to her. They are also married and have children of their own.

Unfortunately, her siblings have forgotten the role she played in their success. She said some of them treat her like trash. They also laugh at her for not doing well financially.

Her greatest regret is sacrificing her life and happiness for others. She said that if she could turn back the time, she would put herself first.

Some Women Regret Not Creating A Better Relationship With God In Their Younger Days

Another woman confessed that she was raised in a religious family. However, she rebelled as a young adult and didn’t want anything to do with God.

She now feels like the horrible mistakes and wrong decisions she made in her life happened because she removed God from the equation.

She feels like if she’d developed a good relationship with God when she was younger, He could have guided her life better than she did on her own.

For instance, God would have given her comfort, peace, emotional resilience, moral grounding, wisdom, discernment, etc as she did life.

In other words, her life would have been more meaningful and better.

She reconnected with God at the age of 71. She however feels like it’s too little too late.

Conclusion

Do you have any regrets as you grow older? Don’t worry, you’re only human and life is not perfect. We make numerous mistakes knowingly or unknowingly in our lives that lead to regrets later in life.

Guess what? There is no need to beat yourself up when you realize your regrets. If you beat yourself up, you could feel shame, guilt, bitterness, sadness, anxiety, or even loathe yourself.

Instead of dwelling on your regrets, try to learn something from them. Use your regrets to help you make better decisions and better choices in the future, regardless of your age. Cheers!

What’s your greatest regret as you grow older? Kindly share with us in the comments section below. Cheers!

Also read: The Monkey Mindset In Some Humans (Video).