How to end a friendship
Recently, I had to end my friendship with one of my childhood friends, Kate. At one point Kate and I were so close that she became my confidant and someone I had loads of fun with. Yet, I had to end the friendship because I felt that it was robbing me of my joy.
Friends come in all sizes and shapes. When you make a friend, you most likely hope the friendship will last a lifetime. But, some friendships will inevitably end.
It’s thus good to know when it’s time to end a friendship and how to end it.
Signs That It’s Time to End a Friendship
A healthy friendship should enrich your life on every level. It contributes to your happiness, sense of purpose, self-esteem, health, and longevity.
A healthy friendship is also a bond of shared moments and sacrifices. It should be mutually gratifying.
So, if your friendship with someone doesn’t meet some of the goals of a healthy friendship, it’s better to end it. Hanging on to an unhealthy friendship could do you more harm than good.
Below are some signs that it’s time to end a friendship:
- You give more than you take – in a healthy relationship, both of you should give and take equally.
- Your friend doesn’t show any interest in your life.
- Your friend manipulates or tries to control you.
- They gossip about you.
- They are untrustworthy – they share your secrets with others.
- Your friend has some negativity – they spend more time putting you down than building you up. Your friend criticizes you all the time.
- You often feel drained emotionally after talking or meeting with them.
- You can’t rely on them to come through for you.
- Your friend doesn’t respect your boundaries.
- They don’t have your best interests at heart.
- You no longer connect with your friend at the same level because of changes in both of your lives.
- Your friend is jealous of your success.
As I mentioned earlier, I recently had to end my friendship with my childhood friend Kate. I ended the friendship because I felt that my friend had become negative. I always felt drained after talking or meeting with her.
How to End A Friendship
Ending a friendship with someone who has been part of your life is no mean feat. You have to be strong and courageous to do it.
Before ending a friendship, it’s good to write down the reasons you want to end the friendship. Writing down the reasons helps to remove any guilty feelings you may have afterward.
So, without further ado, let’s look at how to end a friendship.
1. End A Friendship Using Ghosting Style
The ghosting style of ending a friendship means that you end the friendship abruptly. In this style of ending a friendship, you don’t have to say anything to the person. Just cut off ties and communication with them without an explanation.
This style might sound insensitive but sometimes it’s the most reasonable thing to do. This style is especially great in the following circumstances:
- If the friendship is toxic – disrespectful, hurtful, manipulative.
- If the friendship is endangering your health in any way.
- If you fear that the person will react emotionally to the breakup.
- If you fear that your friend will react violently to the breakup.
You can do the following to end a friendship using the ghosting style:
- Block the person’s number so that they cannot call or text you.
- Unfriend and block them on social media so that they don’t try to reach out to you.
- Don’t show up in places where they might be.
2. End the Friendship by Talking About It
This is one of the best ways of ending a friendship. Instead of cutting the person off abruptly, you can talk to the person directly. This method of ending a friendship gives straightforward results. You thus don’t leave the person guessing or wondering why you ended the friendship.
This method is ideal if you’ve been friends for a long time. In such a case, the person deserves the respect of some explanation or a final goodbye.
You can use the following methods to tell the person about the end of your friendship:
- Ask to have a face-to-face meeting with them where you deliver the news.
- Have a conversation with them on the phone.
- Write them a message on WhatsApp or Email.
- Write them a handwritten letter and have it delivered to them.
If you choose to use this method to end a friendship, it’s good to do the following:
- Be kind: Choose your words carefully when telling the person about the end of your friendship. Use kind and gentle words especially if the person didn’t see it coming.
- End the friendship respectfully: It’s best to be respectful when ending a friendship this way. This enables you to maintain mutual respect for each other.
- Don’t burn bridges: This is related to ending the friendship respectfully. Avoid burning bridges because you may still need your friend in the future.
- Thank the person for the time you spent as friends, and wish them the best in the future.
3. Let the Friendship Fade Out Naturally
Friendships thrive due to regular communication, hanging out together regularly, or both. One great way of ending a friendship is by letting it fade out gradually. You can use this method if you don’t want a confrontation or if you don’t want to hurt the feelings of the person.
Here’s how to let the friendship fade out naturally:
- Stop asking the person to join you. This reduces your physical interaction with the person.
- Become hard to reach by texting instead of calling the person.
- Reduce your social media interaction with the person. You can do this by not commenting or liking their posts as much as you did before.
- Answer messages with short replies.
- Keep your conversations shallow.
- Take time before returning their calls or messages.
- Decline their invitations to chill.
With time, the person will get tired of reaching out to you. The friendship will gradually fade out naturally.
Final Thoughts
Ending a friendship can be really tough – it can be as tough as ending a romantic relationship. You can expect a roller coaster of feelings when you end a friendship. These feelings may include sadness, anger, frustration, loneliness, etc.
I used the ghosting style to end my friendship with Kate. I missed her quite a bit at the beginning. I especially missed forwarding funny clips to her WhatsApp and having a good laugh. I’m however, doing much better now.
It’s better to end an unhealthy friendship before it affects your well-being. You can use the above methods to end a friendship. Things will definitely get better with time.
Have you ever ended a friendship? Kindly share with us in the comments section how you did it. Cheers!
