How to make friends easily
Last week, my sister Zippy requested me to babysit my three-year-old niece, Ivy. Zippy was going to run some errands. The weather was great, so, I decided to take Ivy to the zoo. As we walked around the zoo, Ivy made a new friend, Amy.
To make a long story short, by the time Ivy and Amy were parting ways (after about four hours), they were inseparable. When Amy’s mom (Sheila) and I finally decided it was time to go home, the girls threw a tantrum. I was just amazed at how kids find it so easy to make new friends.
Interestingly, it’s not easy for adults to make new friends. No wonder a recent survey in the US revealed that only 13% of Americans have more than 10 true friends.
Guess what, making new friends isn’t as hard as it seems. As I mentioned earlier, my three-year-old niece Ivy made a new friend last week within a few minutes. Amy’s mom also became my new acquaintance and I hope we will eventually become good friends.
How to Make New Friends Easily
So, what can you do to make new friends easily?
1. Put Yourself Out There
The reason why I have a new acquaintance (Sheila) is that I took my niece Ivy to the zoo. If I had stayed at home with Ivy, we would not have made new acquaintances. In other words, if you want to make new friends, you have to put yourself out there.
It’s difficult to make new friends if you stay indoors all the time. People are out there and it’s therefore best to venture out.
Here are some ways you can put yourself out there to make new friends easily:
Identify and approach the person you’d like to befriend
If you want to make a new friend easily, you sometimes have to make a bold move. The best thing would be to identify the person you’d like to befriend and then approach them boldly.
Some of the people you should target include the following:
Your next-door neighbor
Have you and your next-door neighbor been ignoring each other – maybe you’ve never even said hello to each other? That’s not a good thing as neighbors need to be friendly to each other.
When my neighbor moved in several years ago, we didn’t meet for almost a month. I decided I had to do something about it.
So, one day when I was playing with my children, I deliberately hit the ball into my neighbor’s compound. My children and I then went and knocked on my neighbor’s gate to get the ball. Luckily, the lady of the house opened the gate.
I said a warm hello to her and gave her my best smile. I then introduced myself as the next-door neighbor and told her that our ball had fallen in her compound.
To make a long story short, that was the beginning of my great friendship with my neighbor Nancy. Today, you’d think we are related.
Approach the parents of your children’s friends
The other people you could target for friendship are the parents of your children’s friends. After all, most parents like to know a lot about the background of their kids’ friends.
When my son Josh was young, he had a friend from the neighborhood (Jack). The two boys were always playing together either at our place or Jack’s place. Although I knew Jack, I didn’t know his parents. So, I decided to find out who his parents were.
One day when my son Josh was at Jack’s place playing, I decided to go and get him. I knocked on the gate and Jack and Josh ran to open it. I said hi to Jack and asked him if his mom was home. I requested him to call her.
When Jack’s mom came to the gate, I greeted her and introduced myself as Josh’s mom. We had so much to say to each other that we spent the next half hour chatting at their gate.
That was the beginning of a great friendship with Jack’s mom (Roxy). Although Jack’s family moved from our neighborhood a few years ago, our two families are still tightly knit.
Join a group with like-minded people
One of the best places to put yourself out there to make new friends easily is by joining a group with people with interests like yours. When you meet like-minded people, you’ll have a lot to talk about and you’ll enjoy each other’s company. It’s easy to make new friends with people who share your passion.
Below are some groups you could join:
- A peer-led meditation group
- A religious group
- A music group
- A parent meet-up group
- A book club
- A biking group
- A gym
- A zumba class
Do volunteer work in your local community
Another great way of putting yourself out there to make friends easily is by doing some volunteer work. When you do volunteer work, you give back to society and also get to meet and interact with new people. As you interact with the other volunteers, you could make new friends easily.
Below are some places where you can volunteer and make friends easily:
- A community garden
- An animal shelter
- A hospital
- A community center
- A charitable group
- Holiday festivals
- A Homeless Shelter
- A neighborhood cleanup program
Use Technology to make new friends easily
Technology has made it easier to make new friends easily. For instance, there are apps you can use to make platonic friends online. The great thing about this technique is that you don’t have to leave your home to make friends.
Here are some apps that can help you make friends easily:
2. Start A Conversation With the New Acquaintance
Let me go back to my earlier story of my niece Ivy and her newfound acquaintance Amy. When the two girls started playing with each other at the zoo, I started a conversation with Sheila (Amy’s mom). I started by asking her how old Amy was and she was glad to answer.
By the time we were parting ways, Sheila and I knew so much about each other that we even exchanged numbers.
So, it’s not enough to put yourself out there to see whether you can make new friends. Once you meet a person you’d like to befriend, it’s best to initiate a conversation with them.
One of the reasons why many people are unable to make new friends is because they fear initiating a conversation with a new acquaintance.
Interestingly, most of the time, you just need to make a simple comment or ask a simple question to break the ice.
When I asked Sheila how old Amy was, she answered eagerly and went on to tell me a lot more. I also told her Ivy’s age and that she was my niece and many other things.
After breaking the ice, Sheila and I talked and laughed nonstop for hours as the girls had their own fun.
3. Share Something About Yourself With Your New Friend
After starting a conversation with your new acquaintance, it’s good to share something about yourself. This is a great way of keeping the conversation going.
Once you share something personal with them, they may also feel obliged to share something personal with you.
So, you not only keep the conversation going but you also get to know something more about each other.
For instance, after telling Sheila that Ivy was my niece, I went on to tell her that I have children of my own. This was a good opportunity for her to ask me about my family and kids.
After listening to me, she opened up about her husband and other kids.
When sharing something personal with your new acquaintance, don’t go overboard. Sharing too much could overwhelm the other person. It’s best to do it one step at a time.
4. Ask Open-ended Questions
One of the best ways of making new friends easily is to ask open-ended questions. These are questions that encourage the person you are trying to befriend to give a detailed answer instead of a simple ‘no’ or ‘yes’. Open-ended questions start with ‘what’, ‘how’, and ‘why’.
These kinds of questions help you to know your acquaintance better and could help you know whether you have anything in common.
However, try not to ask questions that could make the person uncomfortable. Take it one step at a time.
When the person is answering the questions, it’s good to listen to them keenly. Being a good listener is one of the attributes that people look for when looking for new friends.
For example, I got to know more about Sheila by asking her an open-ended question. I asked her whether she visited the zoo often.
She told me she just wanted to unwind after sitting for her Master of Education exams. From that, I learned that she is a teacher like me.
5. Stay in Touch With the New Friend
When you make a new friend, the only way to grow the friendship is by staying in touch. So, exchange numbers.
You can message or call the person a few days later to check in on them. If they call or message you back, it’s a good sign that they want to keep the new friendship going.
You can later ask them whether they’d like to meet up again.
Sheila and I exchanged contacts and we are in touch. She has invited me to attend a Teachers’ Workshop and I have accepted the invitation. I can foresee us becoming good friends.
Final Thoughts
There’s a nursery rhyme that says: “Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold”.
This simply means that true friends are precious like silver and gold regardless of how long they’ve been in your life.
So, try to keep the good old friends you have in your life because they are important to your happiness. Also, make new good friends to give you a new lease of life.
I hope this article will help you to make good, new friends easily.
Do you find it easy or hard to make new friends?
Kindly share your experience. Cheers!!!
